Okay, so normally I would be the LAST person to share my mistakes with anyone other than the Lord Himself, but I think I'm feeling quite humble today. So enjoy as you take this free trip through "my lesson learned and never to be forgotten" lane.
Before I met my wonderful husband I was going to college, had a job and was living alone. I didn't have to ask someone else where they wanted to to go eat, which show out of lifetime or ABC did they want to watch, if I could borrow their toothpaste, etc...so technically, it was all about me and what I wanted. I-made-the-decisions. (Even before these glorious times, I am the youngest child and only daughter...which can bring along a 'spoiled' type of childhood) And well, yes, I did grow comfortble with that.
Then I met him.
The absolute love of my life. The soon-to-be "leader" (whatever that was) of the family. Let's just be honest...nobody (especially a woman) REALLY thinks about the responsibilities of the male and female role in a marriage up until the first day of marriage when they suddenly awaken from this zone of excitement and newness and think..."Okay...what now?" (chuckles)
Of course the first couple of months seem to be perfection and bliss..until, the AC goes out or the car breaks down...or......you forget to pay a bill, one of you uses up all the hot water, someone breaks a bone, and so on and suddenly you find yourself shocked that this person you married isn't perfect! You may even think to yourself, "who is this person..." at the first sight of a lost temper or a raising of the voice. Don't be alarmed. This is only a sign. A sign that the honeymoon stage is over and the person you married is only a human being. Just. Like. You.
It's funny how you begin to find the faults in your spouse, never really thinking of your own. How could you think you had any faults? We are all perfect when we look in the mirror, right? Of course. Nobody likes to hear the negative side of theirself. And yes, we all have one. We can ONLY be shown that side of ourself when we pray and ask God to show it to us AND be willing to let Him. You have to have your heart set on overcoming issues in your life in order for the Lord to reveal your faults to you. It's almost like...
(Ex) When your tired and busy and the last thing on your mind is loving up on your husband....and here he comes. He puts his arms around you and hugs you tight, and rubs on your back and you say.."Hunnie, not now. I am soooo busy." And he says, "all I wanted was a kiss..." Then you respond, "Oh, well come here then and I'll give you a kiss." (not sounding very eager) He feels like it's more a chore for you to kiss him in your busy moments and he will probably think twice before he ever initiates a kiss while your busy again.
Well, the Lord feels the same way. We ask Him to do this and do that, but yet our actions are not reflecting our requests. We aren't showing Him that we REALLY are capable of accepting and working on our faults when we ask to see them, therefore, it's hard for Him to believe we can handle it.
I am guilty of this.
I went to my husband about a year ago and asked for advice on something. His advice was not what I wanted to hear. As I sat there listening to what he thought, I thought he just didn't want me to be happy. (same feeling we would get as children when our parents said "no" about something) I thought he was being selfish and only thinking of himself and it hurt my feelings. Out of anger and a "prove him wrong" attitude, I went against his word and did what I thought was best.....only to find out later.........it wasn't.
Honestly, when I went to him for advice in the beginning, I don't think I really cared what he thought. I had my mind made up before I ever talked with him that I was going to do what I wanted to do. I think Eve could relate to the way I felt that day. I had a choice, yet I took the road most traveled by women then being one of the few who fell under submission, put on their big girl pants and dealt with the two letter word that we all hate being told..."no."
Today, I am still learning from that mistake. The Lord isn't finished teaching me the consequences of disobedience. I am proud to say I havn't made the same mistake twice, but I think He's making sure I don't. And, that's okay. I am eager to learn from a mistake that could have been prevented.
You see, a consequence isn't just an act of paying someone back for a mistake, it's a learning process that you will remember far after the act is gone. It's the "What you should of done" side of a mistake.
I have learned in my 4 years of marriage that if I can't be obedient to my husband and submit to his leadership, how can I obey Christ? And that it's okay if my husband ends up being wrong in the end...my submission is done out of obedience to God. What God said to be, no matter the outcome. Every household could be ran easily and/or better than it is if there were more submissive wives. We shouldn't make our husbands work overtime trying to get their wives under control so they can run a Godly household. It's not Biblical. Being in order is such an important topic and a much needed lesson for everyone to learn. Your children can even benefit from order in the home.
I am nowhere near being a completed submitted wife, but Lord knows I'm learning the importance of my role as a 'help meet.' Is it easy? No. Is it always fun? No. Is it rewarding? In more ways than you know!
We will make mistakes, but TRYING is better than nothing. Keep trying...He will show favor. Ask Him to show you what areas you could work on. But, work on only you. Pray the Lord shows your husband what areas he could work on. But it's not our responsibility to tell our husbands what to work on, only God knows.
So, why not...why not be the wife God intends you to be? It's hard! It's work! But theres a Joy unspeakable and full of Glory in the process!
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord!